Simple Strategies to Reduce Holiday Stress and Cultivate Peace and Joy
Are you feeling extra stress this holiday season?
It is okay if you don’t believe in joy, love or peace right now. They believe in you.
Unfortunately, many of us feel this way every year as we are pressured to spend valuable time, energy and money in ways that do not feel honorable to us or the holidays themselves.
Almost everywhere we turn are decorations and advertisements displaying PEACE and JOY. Yet, depending upon what a person is going through, peace and joy can seem far out of reach. Many of us feel pressured to live up to expectations set by the vast number of heartwarming celebrations portrayed in films, displayed on social media, and perpetuated by outdated traditions that have lost their appeal. This focus on a picture perfect holiday season often intensifies feelings of grief over relationships that have changed, ended or were never what we hoped they would be.
It is not surprising that so many people feel alone and increasingly stressed during this time of year.
This year, I would like to encourage and support you in trying something new.
If nothing else, you could at least become more aware of what the problem is. As you move through this holiday season, notice when you feel stress and when you feel ease. This awareness will help guide you in making more conscious choices about how you want things to be rather than continuing patterns than no longer feel good to you.
If you’d like to try something new, here’s an offering for you:
REST
Rest. Envision. Sense. Transform.
We can create our own, new rituals and delights to carry us through the dark winter months.
Rest for the purpose of resting.
Envision something different, and set a clear intention.
Sense the feelings that arise in the body as you think about holiday stressors and imagine a more peaceful season.
Transform your approach to the holiday season.
1) Rest for the purpose of resting.
Rather than resting for the purpose of being able to do more, try resting for the sake of resting—being for the sake of being. Try giving the mind and body a break from the grind, the hustle of daily life and the added holiday stress. It might look something like this:
Resting with legs up helps relieve a busy mind and an aching head.
a) Sit or lie down (for the purpose of sitting, lying down and resting) in a comfortable position with eyes closed for 20 minutes as you rest your attention on the breath and allow it to guide you deeper inward to a place of stillness and calm. It might help to say to yourself, “I am still. I am calm.” Set a timer, so your mind doesn’t have to keep track of time. This helps to replenish the body/mind/spirit as well as connect with inner states of calm.
b) Listen (for the purpose of listening and resting) to the sounds of birds or relaxing music—for the sake of listening, nothing else. Maybe sing and dance, too! When the body is fully present with the experience of listening, singing or dancing, the mind is able to rest from activities such as planning, judging, problem-solving, analyzing, and reflecting.
c) Walk (for the purpose of walking and resting) in nature, perhaps in a forest, beach or neighborhood park without any other purpose. Take in all the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and tactile sensations. Anytime you notice the mind going off to other places and activities, gently welcome it back to the present moment, back into the body and the symphony of sensations.
2) Envision something different, and set a clear intention.
Change is an essential part of life and growth. It isn’t easy to change patterns that we’ve been living for so many years. But this intense stress is sending a message that something isn’t working anymore, so let’s start with connecting with a new vision. Consider the following:
When is the last time you lit a candle for no particular reason? How did it feel?
a) Imagine how it would feel to move through this holiday season with more ease, peace, joy, meaningful connection…whatever it is that you desire.
b) Set your intention for how you want to feel and write it down in the present tense, as if it is already happening. Ex. “I am moving through this holiday season with purpose and ease.” “I am creating opportunities for joyful connections with family and friends.”
c) Connect with the words and feelings of this intention every day. Start with morning awakening—while brushing teeth, drinking coffee, prayer, meditation . . . whatever rituals you already practice.
3) Sense the feelings that arise in the body as you think about holiday stressors and imagine a more peaceful holiday season.
Take time to let your imagination take flight, and maybe journal some of the insights that arise when considering the following:
Journaling or writing our thoughts, idea, images, and plans helps bring them to fruition.
a) Recall how holiday celebrations have been in the past. You might have different images that arise for different occasions—time with others, time alone. Let your heart and mind be free to remember and also to dream and imagine the most magical experiences. What would you like to continue? What would you like to discontinue?
b) Imagine a new reality where you make adjustments that feel supportive while also accounting for the factors that are beyond your control. With each scenario, notice what you see (images, colors, shapes, faces of loved ones), hear (sounds of music, laughter, etc.), smell (scents of pine, cinnamon, orange, ceremonial bread baking), taste (favorite beverages, foods, special holiday treats), feel on the skin (heat as you hold your hands up to a fire, cold winter air on your face, warm embrace as you hug a dear friend or cozy blanket), and what you feel inside the body (constriction/expansion, tightness/softening, coolness/warmth, etc.).
c) Write the answers to these questions: What are some things that are beyond my ability to change (other people’s preferences, needs and tendencies)? What are some things that I could change (communicating your needs/desires, discontinuing outdated traditions, adding new ways of celebrating and connecting)?
4) Transform your approach to the holiday season.
Take actions that support a new way of being during the holidays. Consider the following suggestions:
How about a date with yourself to go look at the twinkle lights with your favorite warm beverage?
a) Share your vision with loved ones, a therapist, and/or others in your circle of holiday celebrations.
b) Look at your calendar and schedule time for the activities that bring meaning to you, including times for rest.
c) Create an action plan that supports the elimination of traditions that are no longer serving you, and the addition of new elements and activities that feel nourishing to you.
This adorable reptile had to join us because the cute factor was too much to resist.
by Jessica Hagy
Jessica Hagy, LCSW-C, owner of Your Calm Center, has been an advocate for inner peace and stress reduction for the majority of her adult life. She began to experience the benefits of mindfulness meditation and setting healthy boundaries nearly 25 years ago after arriving at an emotional and spiritual crossroads. Today, she gratefully faces and embraces the challenges and joys that come with living a more full and meaningful life. If you have questions or are interested in the emotional support she offers through compassionate listening and guided meditation techniques, feel free to connect here.